Getting to Know Jonathan Sulzbach

Rocketed to earth by spaceship, Jon grew up as the second child of two loving middle-class Americans living in Washington State.

Alas, a somewhat belated appointment with puberty revealed that he possessed no latent superpowers of any kind, save a proclivity for nosebleeds and ear infections.

Photo by Shane Wallenda

In a portion of his childhood best described as “troubled,” Jon channeled his fear of mortality into a Sid-like dismemberment (and Frankenstein-esque reconstitution) of his action figure collection.

Jon later pursued video production, technical writing, creative writing, and voice acting while working thankless jobs in the retail industry. He acquired a juvenile command of the Spanish language in 2009 and began making YouTube videos on the subject.

In 2011, Jon earned a BA in English but failed to find employment. He was hired as a graphic designer in 2012 after years of staring at cereal boxes, doodling on his homework, and goofing around with a cracked version of Adobe Photoshop. Apparently, that’s all it takes.

Now armed with software far beyond that of mortal men, Jon fights a never-ending battle for truth, justice, and the death of Comic Sans… which he admits to having used before he knew better. Forgive him.

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